tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39023702011-04-21T16:25:39.718-07:00Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comBlogger951100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-57529188118213123212007-07-31T01:04:00.000-07:002007-07-30T10:08:36.277-07:00

light in a dark age.the ominous storm clouds have gathered and the gales are howling incessantly, cold and blistering. it's cruel. it's difficult. i looked ahead. there were 3 paths going in different directions. i turned back, only to find the ground behind me crumbling and falling to an abyss, to nothingness. my clothes were tattered and torn. i was tired and burdened. i might as well sit down

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-5428203464486495692007-07-30T01:52:00.000-07:002007-07-29T10:56:03.363-07:00

father.i knew he would be peering through the gate grills intently, watching forlornly as the distance between us grew. and then he disappeared from my sight, as i disappeared from his. and i would always begin to wonder if he was still staring, into space, hoping for my figure to re-emerge or imagining my figure still being there, looking back at him. or maybe he always saw something else, my

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-24830322650554967242007-07-05T23:18:00.000-07:002007-07-05T08:18:44.841-07:00

back to the classroomafter a good whole month of holidays for the kids, it was back to the classroom again... albeit to a very different one and on a lazy saturday afternoon - clearly not a good time to be having classes. but these saturday afternoon lessons aren't your typical, boring, sit-in-your-chair-and-stone kinda classes you have in school. nor is the teacher your typical mr, mrs or miss

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-50523704178683329392007-06-22T17:55:00.000-07:002007-06-22T02:55:24.492-07:00

being still in an academic environment, it was kinda uncommon and sometimes unusual, depending on circumstances. there were some who were blatantly, indiscriminately and diligently taking down everyone's numbers. one word, hardcore.and another, networking.this issue came up when i met some friends to catch up after a whole good year and a little more. they had almost become friends of yesteryear

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-38443134723374078602007-06-17T16:17:00.000-07:002007-06-17T01:18:10.886-07:00

Take me home, Country roads...i love driving... sure i do. i feel most at peace and in my element when i'm on the wheel. i can drive all alone in my car with the stereo silenced and still find it a joy. but driving in singapore is a different story & even a person who loves driving like crazy will find that relationship in jeopardy.the whole of singapore can be considered a city and driving in a

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-39941354966421587732007-06-02T00:34:00.000-07:002007-06-01T09:48:32.552-07:00

Welcome Note..i'm finally back at this space again after about half a year and i welcome u back too, my friends who have stood by this place for information - from the mundane to the kind u know i would prefer to say only in this seemingly harmless cyberspace...although we know that only works if we all pretend it to be so.i had a hard time with the layout... as much as i know how black and small

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1165264518398966812006-12-05T04:35:00.000-08:002006-12-04T12:35:18.433-08:00

It is by believing in the heart that you are justified, and by making the declaration with your lips that you are saved. Ro 10:10in dealing with my frailty as a lover, occasional thoughts of being unworthy alluding to a lack of self-belief and an uncanny proneness to jealousy.. i often find little understanding nor any respite from a grueling personal attempt to unravel the mysterious workings of

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1147496233292640442006-05-13T12:54:00.000-07:002006-05-12T22:05:49.963-07:00

i can't believe how it all took such a nasty turn. and maybe when i finally get to telling you the root of this disastrous 'tsunami' which turned everything upside down, u probably won't believe it either..all was set for a wonderful weekend. and more so, because it is a LONG one.. i've had appointments arranged and confirmed from thursday all the way till sunday. and that's rare.. a barrage of

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1146923657556189752006-05-07T14:18:00.000-07:002006-05-07T07:06:14.353-07:00

i sit here with rising trepidation as i pause to ponder the most complex yes/no question i have ever been asked my entire life. and... i certainly wish i can say 'yes'. however after careful thoughts, maybe 'no' will seem a more appropriate answer.nonetheless, i find myself awestruck.. all this time.. and still very much so..the first moment was when i was blinded.. to time and every other

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1141570638353042962006-03-05T22:56:00.000-08:002006-03-16T07:38:39.810-08:00

Beauty and the Beast...starring the beast...realists.. they see fairy tales as stories of perfection, unachieveable in reality. i always thought i'm a realist.. but what i'm about to say will leave many pointing fingers and they will prefer to label me a pessimist, and that's a neverending debate. so i'll say it anyway.sometimes i find certain fairy tales rather full of naivety.. they are still

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1140968784642321902006-03-02T10:09:00.000-08:002006-03-02T06:31:20.276-08:00

i've had lotsa time in my hands lately.. yet i've been feeling really impatient, frustrated and irritable despite the freedom and advantage of time that i enjoy.and i don't understand what i'm going through..and i feel lotsa anger welling up from within me...was it because of some weird angry dream that i've cleanly forgotten? i certainly felt i woke up from the wrong side of the bed.or was it

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1140121701437991002006-02-17T04:27:00.000-08:002006-02-16T12:40:18.750-08:00

we've heard so many times.. life is full of ups and downs..and we know that life isn't without its share of problems..and we always seem to have heaps of problems.. often leaving us unhappy, dejected and overwhelmed..doesn't that seem..pretty much always the case?seems like quite a well established fact that life is fraught with problems.but what matters more, i believe, is how we react to them..

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1139892454528815912006-02-14T12:47:00.000-08:002006-02-13T20:47:58.813-08:00

there was...mummifying...drilling..digging....excavating...yanking...need a picture...?yes, it was a painful start to valentine's day..not in every sense of the word though..;) (i realise i'm trying very hard to convince myself when i say that..)i hope physical pain is all i feel today..on my way out today.. i saw someone reading the PRIME section of ST.. and this article read "Be Careful, A

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1139592741496828182006-02-11T01:31:00.000-08:002006-02-10T09:33:39.523-08:00

i've had a few screw-ups lately...not so major ones.. but, with far-reaching consequences..i have been carelessly insensitive.. which is very unlike me because i always try my best to ensure my words come out the right way.. and that they reflect my intentions accurately. however, i've been rather impatient lately and everything just came out wrongly and i think i pissed quite a few people off.*

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1139450895271767672006-02-09T22:31:00.000-08:002006-02-09T06:31:42.713-08:00

i think i went back to where my 'soul' is...the place i always feel most comfortable with..and it was a good respite from everything else..the airportwhere emotions run highbut not for me... i'm calmest and most at ease when i'm there..beautiful Singapore Airlines stewardesses..impeccably dressed pilots..colourful mix of tourists..airplanes of various airlines..taking off, touching down..

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1139033710967506602006-02-06T19:00:00.000-08:002006-02-08T17:47:21.010-08:00

i cried my hardest and longest that night..i slept on the table..i was a mess.. an epitome of a wasted dude and his messed-up life..i tried to clear the thrash after myself.. but sometimes.. some kinda mess still remains..i was still sober.. i could still remember.. conversations... actions... words.. everything.. so i was probably still sober, of course a little tipsy.well, i was still stunned

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1138766397548278332006-02-04T13:54:00.000-08:002006-02-03T21:56:36.173-08:00

prefacereading this entry may lead you to associate the contents written on this day with the records from past few days..that will be a terrible misunderstanding and an uncecessary assumption.. therefore i will like to repudiate any such notions before i begin on yet another solemn and melancholic entry..darkness, pain and sorrow.this is the reason why people dislike reading my blog.. at times

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1138654849529398322006-01-31T17:01:00.000-08:002006-01-30T13:00:49.563-08:00

i just finished a run and some exercise..finally washed up and ready to get some sleep..and guess what time issit right now.. 0432.. wow.. i guess i just broke all previous records of late night runs.. usually if i do run late, i'll run at about midnight..today i started about...1am and finished runnin at 3am.. including warming up and coolin down..returned home.. did some exercises.. and finally

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1138384207920823602006-01-28T03:58:00.000-08:002006-01-27T11:59:05.310-08:00

absolutely no one...what kinda 'friends' do i have??maybe i should understand... i thought..but many had the choice... they chose not to...they had their own concerns.. their own stuff..and so my stuff was my own.. not theirs, none of their business..'friends'? sure..friends? no way..nah.. no concessions will be made... they rather sleep... they rather do something else.. anything else but this..

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1138293757880478852006-01-27T01:30:00.000-08:002006-01-26T09:30:59.576-08:00

a first, and unlikely source of comfort..a familiar connection..ever since..my physical being has always been an exemplary of the saying..'it's a matter of mind over body'.these 2 weeks had been very demanding (on my mind)..constantly burdening.. and tormenting my poor mind.. which never relished for such struggles or battles.. for i had never been good at this.. never... i am weakest when it

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1138086656111453812006-01-24T15:10:00.000-08:002006-01-23T23:10:56.123-08:00

i just came back from a run... it wasn't a good run.. but i'm feeling a little better... a little more at ease..i was pickin a fight again... i was looking for a quarrel again... i was taking it out on her.. i was a jerk AGAIN... but i didnt mean to.. i just let those emotions get the better of me...exasperated..vexed...worried..burdened..helpless..hopeless..pissed.. just sickeningly fed up..it

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1138070865701547462006-01-24T10:46:00.000-08:002006-01-23T18:52:30.576-08:00

ever since that beautiful dream, which i mentioned in the last entry, everything seems to be a downhill ride..and i have no idea how i could have let this happen..the downhill ride i mean..so many sleepless nights..n terribly busy days..2 irreversible damages..n 1 more huge impact 2 come..was how i tried to sum it all up on msn..ya see.. those damages.. let me talk about the first one.the 'huge

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1137343191239796222006-01-16T00:39:00.000-08:002006-01-15T09:03:44.156-08:00

sunday morning.. i woke up, with a smile on my face.. a genuine smile.. a smile of true bliss.i was surprised.. for i haven't been feeling very positive and i even abandoned my prayers..maybe it's a trick.. after awakening from a night's sleep, go back to sleep awhile more.. and you get such beautiful reveries..i believe i was already smiling in those fleeting moments before i awoke..we were in a

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1137263663040252512006-01-15T02:32:00.000-08:002006-01-14T10:34:23.040-08:00

the regurgitation of the entire timeline of events which i had in record, certainly brought back many memories.. It is inevitable that i left out certain events that unfortunately slipped my mind but looking through it again, it definitely looks like whatever there was in 2005.the last 3 months of 2005 leading up to the start of 2006 certainly saw many things happening on different fronts.. time

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1137262741406219632006-01-15T02:16:00.000-08:002006-01-14T10:27:24.403-08:00

Reminiscence..........2005Jan 09 Commencement of 1st tutoring jobJan 17 Started a record of expenditure and significant eventsJan 28 Basic Theory Test (driving)Jan 30 Bought 1st Timberland productJan 30 1st meeting with YT since July 11 2004Feb 09 1st day wearing Timberland BootsFeb 13 1st time pouring out my troubles to a guy and realising that that makes more senseFeb 16 Finished reading 'The

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1136789565414960992006-01-09T03:30:00.000-08:002006-01-10T02:26:22.146-08:00

a huge ball of a fiery sun rises from the east.. easing its way above the horizon, into a new day.. e refreshing air in the atmosphere, brought with it exciting news...from this twilight on... Roshan shall be open again!i welcomed 2006 in traditional style- amidst familial familiarity and the sumptuous feast that came along with it. declining an invitation to party into the new year with rather

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1120409013657468822005-07-04T00:44:00.000-07:002005-07-03T09:43:33.656-07:00

i'm so glad it all began,if not, my life'll be so lost n bland.i feel like we're walkin hand in handon this journey that sees no end.through this time, i've seen your gracen much goodness besides ur pretty face.n in here (points to heart) i've reserved a special place,anytime, anywhere, for u, always.you give me a sense of silent bliss.with you i find a mysterious peace.i hope u feel the same,

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1120249205642696682005-07-04T00:31:00.000-07:002005-07-03T09:31:49.580-07:00

30th JuneI didn't want to be late this time but i was (darn) late again. I would rather not be late when i'm seeing somebody for the first time. well y'know how first impression counts..I was supposed to meet up with my cousin and her friend. I woke up kinda late and found myself scrambling all over the house. Worse still, i had yet to prepare what i was gonna wear.. i was lookin through my

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1120243219814360132005-07-02T02:40:00.000-07:002005-07-01T11:40:19.820-07:00

29th JuneIt's yet another off day! haha can u believe it??? well a few of my camp mates and i decided that we were most used to a 3-day week instead of a 5-day week so we took wednesday and thursday off! woohoo! it's great to be spending more time "out here" instead of "in there".i was gettin very worried about this week's off days because i can't seem to finalise any plans but in a last minute

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1120240542692252702005-07-02T01:58:00.000-07:002005-07-01T10:58:21.540-07:00

25th JuneExactly a week ago, i went back to Bugis again. Apparently, Bugis IS the place to be. About 2 days after i went on the 20th, the papers featured Bugis and future development plans for it and the area around. My friend wanted to check it out and after reading the article, i decided that Bugis was worth a 2nd try and this time, i went with an open mind.Mr Golliwog just came back from a one

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1120236868840260032005-07-02T01:14:00.000-07:002005-07-01T10:16:50.873-07:00

21st Juneit was yet another off day. what happiness a 4-day weekend can bring! Today's pace was rather slow though. I got up to a beautiful morning which felt so surreal.. everything felt extremely calm and peaceful. It's one of those mornings when it's become very obvious that everyone's left home for the bustling CBD, leaving behind peace at their homes.. the weather was extremely still except

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1120216962580620092005-07-01T23:54:00.000-07:002005-07-01T08:54:21.950-07:00

The days of June just flew past so quickly. I didn't slow myself down either.. which pretty much explains why this entry took almost 2 weeks to arrive. For the convenience of readers, i've decided that the following accounts will be split up into its individual days because of the sheer volume of words that each day of entry generated.20th JuneIt was an off-day. A compensation for robbing us of

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1119119085274630032005-06-19T02:29:00.000-07:002005-06-18T11:29:56.806-07:00

this cough is killing me.. it had been almost 2 weeks now i guess.. it started when i slept in a freezing cold air-conditioned room during a stormy night..without a blanket.just imagine... i foolishly thought i could bear the cold just like any other time i did.. i usually like the coldness but it was too much to take this time.. i woke up a couple of times in the night and barely slept the rest,

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1118840185249725902005-06-18T10:24:00.000-07:002005-06-17T19:24:59.676-07:00

everything i'm about to recollect and describe... everything. it's beyond words. (irony) such entries therefore take such a long time to finish.it wasn't ecstatic. it wasnt that crazy kind of happiness. it wasn't a 'jump-in-the-air-and-wave-arms' kind of happiness. it wasn't a tearful kind of sweet-sour happiness. Nor was it a fairy tale kind of 'wow' happiness. it was a simple, peaceful bliss

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1118837116160316932005-06-15T20:16:00.000-07:002005-06-15T05:16:06.693-07:00

it has been on my mind for some time now.. and it probably isn't the first time i'm considering such an option. But such a decision requires a fair bit of deliberating and more often than not, i'd rather take the easy way out- throw the entire thought away from my mind.Having not taken into account just how many people i have allowed access to this blog, the best i can give is a rough guess. And

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1118385150714763842005-06-11T15:16:00.000-07:002005-06-11T00:07:16.126-07:00

It has been one helluva wacky 2 weeks! during this period when i kinda left my blog to hibernate for awhile, lookin back, it has been a really adrenaline pulsating rush kind of experience..My last entry spoke about how lousy a weekend which belonged to an amazing week- i saw my home for the whole 7 days. Strange, isnt it? That was supposed to be MARVELLOUS! but did it really turn stale towards

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1117313649670323542005-05-29T04:54:00.000-07:002005-05-28T13:54:09.676-07:00

it's extremely saddenin to have started the weekend this way.. especially when a 7-day work week is comin up..i felt as though i had a break down today... or a burnt-out. either one of them, my system shut down on me today. it shut down so i could have at least a moment of silence from the enormous mess which twirled ferociously in my mind. i couldnt get a hold of myself nor could i regain my

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1116871699056790192005-05-24T02:08:00.000-07:002005-05-23T11:16:47.790-07:00

very often, we are prone to committing the mistake of jumping to conclusions, or making judgements. such mistakes, sometimes, originate from certain stereotypes or perceptions that are embedded in our minds.sometimes, these misperceptions and stereotypes inevitably become the foundations which we base our arguments on... quarrels of such nature often persist and lead us to no where because the

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1116786707442388072005-05-23T02:31:00.000-07:002005-05-22T11:31:47.446-07:00

Nash meets Nashwatching A Beautiful Mind tonight meant something to me.. not just because we are both Nashes..i truly admire that man... well he persisted his own ways of doing things despite how others looked at him... he's really one who lives beyond the glares of others.. which shouldn't matter because your life is what YOU make it out to be, not OTHERS. However, i'm one of the many who are a

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1116785575486178252005-05-23T02:12:00.000-07:002005-05-22T11:15:38.650-07:00

ok i have to talk about the rest of the week... but i shall touch only on the good stuff..on friday i met up with 'mum' for dinner n it was a rather good one listenin to her talk about the ongoings of her life and me sharing about my perspective on certain things... the dinner was quite alright and the discussions were very enriching.. they always are because i'm keen to listen to what other

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1116561379463278812005-05-23T01:54:00.000-07:002005-05-22T10:54:50.903-07:00

this week has been kinda extraordinary... not that it was THAT great but it involved very powerful emotions... like meandering country roads weaving in, over and out undulating country hills... this week certainly felt that way.my drastic emotions gave me one helluva bungee time...i never believed in restraining myself when it comes to emotions... i want my emotions to ring loud in my mind and

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1116178726876905022005-05-16T01:38:00.000-07:002005-05-15T10:44:12.260-07:00

i havent blogged for almost 2 weeks now.. and when that happens.. it can only mean that i've had a rather rough time and i seldom choose to blog during those times.. i would be too angry.. and i was too angry to. Somehow anger overwhelms me very quickly.. and i submit to my anger so very easily. i'm weak. i feel enslaved to my anger... and so into the dark side during those times.. i feel so much

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1114808579658273902005-05-01T01:52:00.000-07:002005-04-30T10:53:22.493-07:00

i looked at the family photos hung up there all this time. many times we walked pass them, oblivious to their presence.. why put them up there in the first place then?Chill! they are just photos! Thankfully they are JUST photos!more importantly, have we taken each other for granted? have we become oblivious to each other's presence just as we had been treating these photos all these while? do we

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1113925679449383552005-04-23T16:05:00.000-07:002005-04-23T01:10:37.266-07:00

The following will not make sense to you, my readers (the few who i can so easily count with one hand). It is deliberately coded beyond comprehension, however, if u still decide to read it, may you enjoy it...i have a feeling it may sound like a sci-fi saga... here goes..Abandoning Rpr0 seemed to be a remote possibility then.. the Rpr0 flyship was thought to be the 'ship of hope'.Apparently, the

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1113756114103036662005-04-18T00:41:00.000-07:002005-04-17T09:41:54.106-07:00

it's the end of the week again... i blew a big hole in my pocket over the weekend...i had to shop for clothes for my interview. Bought a tie and a shirt from G2000 which are considered quite cheap plus a 15 percent discount.. but still it was quite a stress on my finances because i've been tutoring only 1 student per week for these 2 weeks...so my income's down down down.The service at G2000 was

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1113149669196335252005-04-11T00:14:00.000-07:002005-04-10T09:14:29.200-07:00

yet another week flew past just like that... *snap fingers*the week kinda just drew to a close.. and of course, the same old sentiments are playing through my mind over again... "if only it could be longer"...this week aint too bad. it was quite a hectic week having had to prepare for a competition which was held during my unit's anniversary. We had training almost everyday, rain or shine. We had

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1112537914754790342005-04-03T22:26:00.000-07:002005-04-03T07:20:59.173-07:00

it was yet another one of those dreams.. about death and pain.i dreamt about a friend i havent been in touch for a long time now.. she was my primary school classmate..in my dream she died abruptly.i saw the scene of all her friends and family, some whom i know of.. we were all gathered together on a stormy grey afternoon.. black umbrellas held up high but our glum faces staring down at the

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1111775270112033312005-03-26T02:27:00.000-08:002005-03-25T10:27:50.113-08:00

i'm in a total mess.i dunno wat's going on.and i don't understand what's going through my mind.maybe it's just too much to take, i dunno.maybe i just need a good run...to tire myself out, so that i give my mind a break. to stop thinkin.. to clear it. i yearn for a crystal clear empty vacant space in my mind, where clarity reigns supreme.such incoherent thoughts give such incoherent and erratic

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1109525901439864462005-02-28T01:52:00.000-08:002005-02-27T09:52:29.566-08:00

The feeling has finally sunk in ... it's sunk in easier this time ... not that i'm over it. i'm never gonna get over it until it all starts over again. it's sunk in already...in other words, i've kept it safely behind my head..behind my mind my heart...but of course the pain's still there and sometimes they seem to want to resurface..but i've been unbelievably calm... unlike the first time, i was

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1109004088421302912005-02-22T00:49:00.000-08:002005-02-21T08:41:28.466-08:00

i search pointlessly for a shoulder to cry on... a shoulder that doesn't exist for me..Unrequited love is the world's greatest torture! Yet i subject myself to such a torture endlessly... I'm still not letting go of this source of pain...as i stay steadfast in keepin this faith alive...keep giving to this faith that has long been dead...Been years... but it's hardest to let go of the BEST that

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1108383503533310832005-02-14T20:26:00.000-08:002005-02-14T04:18:23.533-08:00

o by e way... e girl i almost dated some time ago...she has a valentine today! and e girl i've always wanted to date.. she sure has a valentine today! Happy Valentine's Day Gabriel!

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1108381932861062512005-02-14T19:59:00.000-08:002005-02-14T03:54:07.020-08:00

~Today is Valentine's Day~N guess what, they actually decided to give us the nights off so that the dudes in camp can spend a little time with their babes on this all important day for couples!There's no such luck 4 me though. It's ok It's ok i told myself but i know deep down inside, i have yet to truly convince myself that it's ok c'mon not everyone has a valentine!The ppl in camp refuse to

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1108228336183077062005-02-13T01:20:00.000-08:002005-02-12T09:12:16.186-08:00

name is Lord Nash...They say i'm enigmatic...mysterious and secretive..They say i'm this and that..The truth is all these is nothing but a facade.The truth is i appear cold n calm...so that i may appear unperturbed in the most adverse situations...The truth is i want to be the pillar of strength for the people around me...The truth is i am Lord Nash for everyone else...but me.But please...let me

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1107974399261666992005-02-10T02:47:00.000-08:002005-02-09T10:39:59.263-08:00

Today is Gong Xi Fa Cai Day! and i just realised how fast it had all been..it's over already...2 days just gone like that and tml will be thursday! How soon my hols are gonna end! Chinese New Year has been ok although it gets quieter and quieter each year... everyone's growing up fast ya see... and when ya have less kids it's less 'merry merry chinese new yr'! But it's still ok when u c your

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1107972929584014622005-02-10T02:15:00.000-08:002005-02-09T10:26:40.410-08:00

To me, Romance's about..... making you happy being sincere and true in everything i do making you feel important and cherished expressing my feelings with more than just words a chemical reaction in my body heart mind and soul giving my all taking care of you during our times together tender loving care an unfathomable connection me and you

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1107798656882300912005-02-08T01:58:00.000-08:002005-02-07T09:50:56.883-08:00

It was great they decided to cancel tomorrow's activities and allow us to return home today! I had guard duty yesterday so my weekend was a terribly short one...so an earlier release was really good news.. besides, i havent had good rest ever since my duty...so comin back home was good for recuperating.. However i can't help but be paranoid... well i'm on standby for any emergency operations at

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1107227878105638812005-02-02T20:00:00.000-08:002005-02-02T03:52:52.683-08:00

Saying goodbye is a very powerful experience.. there are many emotions that will be felt...powerful emotions that are driven by your personal relationship with that person...emotions that probably may mean nothing to others but mean the world to you.. but it aint all negative or difficult emotions... even though it may be inevitable that a tinge of sadness overcomes u but.. it';s possible to see

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1107345032466814472005-02-02T19:58:00.000-08:002005-02-02T03:50:50.406-08:00

Do u love listening to love songs? Songs speaking about love.. about romance.. about eternity.. about 'you and me' .... When i look into your eyes... when i hold your hand in mine... when i feel your presence.. i hear a love song that i never knew existed.. a love song which i seek to comprehend.. a love song that sings my most beautiful dreams to life... a song only us could hear a song about

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1107223832452375612005-02-01T22:50:00.000-08:002005-01-31T18:51:02.576-08:00

After church i took a train down to Tpayoh to meet up with dear yuting. the last time i saw her was the day she left on July 11. That would mean that for the past year..i would have seen her only 4 times, at most! I was feeling rather nervous on my way there...wondering if there were gonna be huge changes...wondering if i'm not gonna be able to be myself in front of her...there were certain

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1107222798911446892005-02-01T22:00:00.000-08:002005-01-31T17:53:18.910-08:00

Last weekend was a bang! my weekend's always slow on the pick up so friday was a little uneventful....all i had was a basic theory test and i went to get myself some books at the library and that's pretty much it! Saturday was turning out to be another boring day but i managed to turn things around. i decided that since there was nuthin to do, why not just give tuition man..get it done on

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1106847011646783382005-01-28T01:37:00.000-08:002005-01-27T09:30:11.646-08:00

Jan's already comin to a close and i havent been bloggin really. The 1st entry was a really lousy one seriously.. wat an entry to kick start the new yr! i havent been bloggin because i wanna avoid any of such entries but i guess i don't have much of a choice...get watcha mean? today's supposed to b a very happy day since we all regain our short living freedom..but it didnt really pick me up. ya

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1105211735313484692005-01-09T03:15:00.000-08:002005-01-08T11:15:35.313-08:00

...this is the 1st entry of 2005... the optimism i had vanished as soon as the virgin seconds of 2005 started ticking maybe it wasn't that soon but it did felt that way the plans i drew up in my mind never came to action the 1st week of 2005 was a total wreck, a masterpiece of devastation. *applause* i've never felt this low for a long time but it came so hard it brought me back to the old days

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1104483272188306092004-12-31T17:01:00.000-08:002004-12-31T00:54:32.186-08:00

Victory! Hail King Nasheros! ...the guards on the high towers and majestic bastions blow the horns... the song of victory resounds in the valleys of the kingdom.. the king has returned and beautiful days lie ahead i finally popped the difficult question and i have the number in my hands.. in my mind, rather..it's all up there, safely stored and unforgotten. It wasn't easy y'know.. i shall not

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1104163574016399492004-12-28T00:06:00.000-08:002004-12-27T08:06:14.016-08:00

today was kinda gud i was just a little disappointed that xinyi and sya didnt turn up. well i was quite ready to sing belaian jiwa and i think xinyi's gift was quite a gud one. well i had a hard time choosing the gifts although i got all of them from one shop. 1stly. i felt nervous because i was a guy in a girl's shop and i was the ONLY guy... then i realised 'Apple' was there and that kinda

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1103996634322651572004-12-26T01:46:00.000-08:002004-12-25T09:43:54.323-08:00

i'm bloggin here, with christmas gone with the minutes and seconds.. the 'edifice' on my left wrist. and i'm starting to feel the christmas spirit and this christmas became clearer to me. Santa Claus would caution "don't let the moment pass" but it's never too late, to realise what your christmas meant. this christmas was full of surprises.. well i celebrated it in the most un-christmasly

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1103824693150966992004-12-24T01:58:00.000-08:002004-12-23T09:58:13.150-08:00

...haven't blogged for almost 2 weeks now...i didn't know where to start...couldn't find the words...my mind's in a whirl...vrrr, if only there were a 'reset' button around here somewhere. O sheesh, suddenly 'reset' sounds suicidal. No way. Maybe i can handle this.. with some help (from an imaginary friend). No one real will be enough for such a 'rescue' task. But as we always say..imaginary's

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1102897604325862862004-12-13T13:51:00.000-08:002004-12-12T21:44:33.663-08:00

Grooooooove baby! What a great deal! While everyone's in camp..their faces gloooomy gluuuuummmmy i can imagine...i'm right here blogging at home, listening to the Class 95 Morning Express!! Cheerios~ Medical Appointments are like short getaway holidays..and try hard to get the doc to have u return for follow-ups.. extended holidays :) ...and remember Mondays and Fridays are days for such

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1101732762353723462004-11-29T20:57:00.001-08:002004-11-29T04:52:42.353-08:00

It's always difficult to have to return to a place where i absolutely don't belong and no matter how long i'll be at that damn place, it will always be a 'stranger' place to me. No place's better than home and i believe that absolutely that's y i'm always back home whenever i have nights off. Even if it's just an hour.. i did all the homely things i could..enjoyed my toilet..took a nice bath..

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1101732735390713912004-11-29T20:57:00.000-08:002004-11-29T04:52:15.390-08:00

It's always difficult to have to return to a place where i absolutely don't belong and no matter how long i'll be at that damn place, it will always be a 'stranger' place to me. No place's better than home and i believe that absolutely that's y i'm always back home whenever i have nights off. Even if it's just an hour.. i did all the homely things i could..enjoyed my toilet..took a nice bath..

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1101528843531734392004-11-27T16:04:00.000-08:002004-11-26T23:57:11.070-08:00

After half a month of absence from my bloggin blogger bloggggey bloooog world, i'm finally back. Either the past 2 weeks had been rather uneventful or i just didnt want to include some details which are characteristically military. ya get whatcha mean.. Photos of my McRitch trip will be up soon. that happened on.. 10th November if my memory serves me right. Watched SAW yesterday and it was

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1100192443484247442004-11-12T01:07:00.000-08:002004-11-11T09:00:43.483-08:00

...emptiness overwhelms me...then came loneliness...wassup. Any attempts to disconnect failed... For love or money or something less human I feel like i've reached a stage where there's a choice to be made before i can actually move on. But it's soo difficult sometimes i feel like just goin to the Dempsey place and drink, not to drown my sorrows but just relieve some of the tension my mind

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1099292651706126292004-11-01T15:11:00.000-08:002004-10-31T23:04:11.706-08:00

decision making we all know how tough it is to have to make decisions. And sometimes decisions can b very painful ones. i never really was good at them. i fumbled whenever i had to deal with one. in the past whenever i had to make decisions..i always thought...what would happen to me...what changes would i see in my life...what would happen next for me... i failed to realise that sometimes our

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1099210061313900372004-10-31T16:18:00.000-08:002004-10-31T01:11:09.550-08:00

Friday 291004 I finally agreed to go out with my camp mates. It's the 1st time i agreed to share some of my CV time with my camp mates. I realised how much they wanted me to be there. Not very much, but they appreciated the fact that i finally gave in to their umpteen times of invitations. I'm glad i'm giving my camp mates a chance. I always knew it was unfair to deny my camp mates a chance to

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1098983618475787782004-10-29T01:20:00.000-07:002004-10-28T10:13:38.476-07:00

i finally found someone to talk about my frustrations.. and then she asked me what my IDEAL girl's like since i can't seem to find any girl who can meet my expectations nor can i forget the one who came close to doing so... and then as i rattled on and on..these were the words that came out from my mouth: she should be lady-like..elegant...mature...sensible....sophisticated...alluring..

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1098983122856063082004-10-29T01:00:00.001-07:002004-10-28T10:05:22.856-07:00

...i sit here, feeling frustrated and overwhelmed with concurrent trains of thoughts blasting through every corner of my pitiful brain... Even the most basic things are starting to irritate me. It takes me awhile before i realise which book i should be reading now, what tasks do i have to accomplish tml, should i go make myself a bowl of noodles. Let's start on the week 1st. It could have been

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1098617719033190652004-10-24T19:42:00.000-07:002004-10-24T04:35:19.033-07:00

It's amazing. I had not felt such a 'chemical reaction' for some time...maybe a long long time. I wouldn't even call that a date. We finally met up again. With all the excitement and anticipation bursting from within me, it felt almost impossible to contain all of it. I found myself pacing swiftly up and down wherever my feet would bring me. I listened to some jazz to calm myself dowm but to no

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1098616969634960682004-10-24T19:29:00.000-07:002004-10-24T04:22:49.636-07:00

G.Kirovski Her haunting presence shrouded the air, though she breathed the atmosphere else where. I welcomed this intrusion of peace, for such love brings only ease. Though my heart is broken, my love is still one precious token, for you will never b forsaken. And when this world is forgotten, and the lands all dead and rotten, You'll still find me waiting, with my arms wide open.

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1097956502592039132004-10-17T04:01:00.000-07:002004-10-16T12:55:02.593-07:00

.A Happy 19th Birthday. My 19th birthday was considered a pretty good one and when i think back, i realise i have been quite fortunate to have enjoyed many interesting birthdays. I started the 1st hours of my birthday blogging. The entries below. Those are the ones. I slept later than 3am but still manage to wake up early at 8am. I spent the entire morning lazing at home, watching tv and simply

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1097864191740490442004-10-16T02:23:00.000-07:002004-10-15T11:16:31.740-07:00

Till this day i feel the guilt of having committed these evil deeds to someone so dear over the years. And every birthday i relive these memories.. ....cherish every word, moment, action, gesture, time..for when this time ends..u want to remember more of the beautiful memories than the ugly ones.... And every birthday i hope to relive more beautiful memories..

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1097861439792365532004-10-16T02:10:00.000-07:002004-10-15T11:03:36.423-07:00

19 years of twin power ...a serious look at 19 years... We drank milk together..but i finished mine with ease and he always finished after me, with some difficulty. He loved reading and ate toothpaste. He would grab book after book, title after title for any adult that would read to him. He showed much more character. I was just a plain 'baby'..i ate my food and slept when placed in the

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1097859003735264242004-10-16T00:56:00.000-07:002004-10-15T09:50:03.736-07:00

My birthday's finally here! it always seems like a long wait because it's in the month of Oct and my brother and i, we start waiting when Jan 1 of every year arrives. Birthdays are special for me because for 18 years now i have always had someone sharing my birthday with me..and sharing my birthday with others has always been very important to me. I'm 19 now. We used to have huge parties..have

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1097218085284077822004-10-08T14:54:00.000-07:002004-10-07T23:51:49.510-07:00

You are the color red. You are the mostcontroversial of all the colors. You are ofteneasily angered, but as easily as you gotexcited, you come down. When angered, do youhave the tendency to be malicious? Afterwards,do you end up begging for forgiveness? Maybe.But you're incredibly generous, and, oddenough, needy. You love to hate, andsometimes, you hate to love. This colordescribes you as

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1096824936256836532004-10-04T01:42:00.000-07:002004-10-03T10:35:36.256-07:00

a mail.... Hey there Amanda~ it's been some time since i emailed you. It's sunday night. Every1's sleepin already. i sit here, in front of my com, enjoying the silent night, e peace n solitude. Sipping on wine, eating some cheese.. thinking about e day's events, e week's, e month's, e year's and my life. As i drift along with my flow of thoughts..i gradually lose myself..confuse n dejected.

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1096723919170093392004-10-02T21:38:00.000-07:002004-10-02T06:31:59.170-07:00

After what was considered a terrible week of work, i enjoyed an excellent Saturday and i cannot explain how thankful i am for that. The morning was very beautiful. The sun was shining brightly but it wasn't scorching. There were occasional breezes which cooled the air, bringing excessive heat away.. There was badminton in the morning. Unfortunately, my recent spate of mischevious activities was

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1096283654331486982004-09-27T19:20:00.000-07:002004-09-27T04:20:03.910-07:00

It's great to be out again, even if it is for half a day. I went to watch Saved! with my bro and it was great that we were out together since we hadn't been out together 4 a long time. Unfortunately, i went there not in the right mind..not in the right mood..completely out of mode. Honestly, it's quite a terrible storyline.. The story's so full of irony and it turned out kinda lame even

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1096099825971314992004-09-25T16:17:00.000-07:002004-09-25T01:10:25.970-07:00

I sleep very little these days, but the dreams never stop coming.. i dream almost everyday and that feels good whether the dream's bad or not because it just feels like sleeping ain't just a wasteful activity..at least i ponder on certain things too when i'm asleep! I woke up this morning feeling my heart ache..oh that sounds so familiar..does that always happen when i have dreams? I could

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1095903000763299582004-09-23T18:01:00.000-07:002004-09-23T02:55:42.403-07:00

....they returned from the other world, a planet of dusty deserts. And they started their hour long cleansing ritual, an ancient tradition followed strictly by all. It was believed the dust and dirt stuck on them was evil enough to kill their beloved family members, women and children. They would have to go to the clearest spring on this land to fetch the purest of all water. With pails of the

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1094925492736672372004-09-12T02:03:00.000-07:002004-09-11T10:58:12.736-07:00

I had an absolutely wonderful saturday! It started off kinda slowly...blogged in the morning... Went to taka with my elder bro. I realised it was a long time since we last went out together. So it's good that we're out together, besides, he wasnt in a very good mood. We went to have some pasta at an eatery his friend and some others had opened. I had seafood pasta and i realised that i have

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1094922602040923352004-09-12T01:15:00.000-07:002004-09-11T10:14:02.773-07:00

Today i felt something i had not felt for a long long time. Ok wait, i'm not supposed to be talking about this. i was supposed to learn to forget and let go as i had told myself to but i jus cant help it k? hm..sheesh, was i talkin to myself? i had not felt this for a long time only bcuz i have been shielding myself from it, hiding and putting away these emotions. If i had not done so..i probably

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1094866339050976422004-09-11T09:38:00.000-07:002004-09-10T18:41:57.056-07:00

I woke up this morning, feeling my stomach all cramped up..my chest tight and about to explode...my heart heavy and aching...and i was.. trying to screamm.. ...i never was able to summon enough strength to overcome myself...another internal struggle...i'm decided and undecided...i'm letting go and holding back...it's going to be a long and dreadful battle... In dreamland, anything is possible

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1094863216597748732004-09-11T08:46:00.000-07:002004-09-10T18:32:53.870-07:00

Booking out last night was a very happy moment 4 me. It confirmed the commencement of the 5 day week and a longer rest period during the weekend. This rest is much needed before we face a new week all over again. Our song IC, i guess is getting quite sick of his job of having to lead us in songs whenever we march..and i guess the platoon was looking for sth new too. As we marched out of the gates

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1094392394993086712004-09-05T21:59:00.000-07:002004-09-05T06:53:14.993-07:00

The week's drawing to a close..quite an eventful week i havta say..some highlights already provided in my past 2 entries.. The week was a busy and fruitful day one, but only in camp. What a surprise.. My weekend was quite a wreck i havta say. On Tuesday, i brought my level of physical fitness to the next level. I havent felt proud of myself for a long long time and i felt i certainly did

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1094209280845435702004-09-03T19:07:00.000-07:002004-09-03T04:01:20.846-07:00

Three days ago..i had this very weird dream and this was all i could remember... I was hospitalised. I overheard the doctor telling my family that i had contracted some rare disease..something they hadn't seen in a long time and there had been no found cure for it. And i was going to die. The doctors gave me only 2 days. I thought i had heard wrongly or that i was having a nightmare (a dream in

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1093725231580114332004-09-03T18:30:00.000-07:002004-09-03T03:31:51.376-07:00

the dungeons are in turmoil.trouble is brewing and things in these deep depths are changing.the creatures are kept in the dark.they have no idea what's going on.they can smell fear in the air.these fears are theirs.they can smell evil in the air.and then they have premonitions of pain.. Last week was a terrible one. Training had intensified and the body's being broken down. Fatigue took over

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3902370.post-1093721997869046852004-08-29T03:45:00.000-07:002004-08-28T12:39:57.870-07:00

I'm finally getting down to this. What can i say? Procrastination...my hobby. This skin looks really innocent ayE? I'm never used to looking so innocent and pure and bright and positive. And frankly speaking, most people think of me as one who's negative, dark, hostile and perhaps anti-social. The skin speaks otherwise, because deep down inside, there's always a side of me most ppl have yet to

Gabrielnoreply@blogger.com